Self compassion is another large and complex topic that I’m going to broach for a few minutes, and probably repeatedly, here on Shadow Soup.

Many of us find it easy to see the best in others, give the benefit of the doubt, and forgive minor slights. We are willing to explain  bad behavior by others as accidental and unintentional, and we chalk up a lot to universal human behaviors and stressors.

We also need to be able to see when the balance is tipped against our own best health and happiness. Self compassion means putting yourself into the equation when the mental calculations are being made. 

For example, look at a person whose behavior is consistently poor. They are negative, critical, demanding, harsh, and controlling. We may know exactly why they are that way. We may have details of a difficult circumstance, trauma, or disruption that caused a lot of their challenging behavior or their inability to manage their own behavior. Does that make it healthy for us to be around them? No. We have to use our knowledge and awareness of who they are to make decisions about our own boundaries and values.

Some people are able to enact boundaries naturally without much conscious effort. However, it is socially acceptable to leave this step out entirely. It’s important to realize that. We are prone to accept bad behavior when it can be explained. We have to make conscious efforts to factor ourselves into worthiness and understanding. It’s valuable to our own well-being and is just as important as understanding others.

Self compassion is self forgiveness, self-protection, self-love, and self care.

Try some today!