How I Did the Work.

  • Identity and Alter Ego
    Part 4 of 4 I went to my employee assistance program. I was told I could receive 5 free sessions of counseling. I chose a provider and made an appointment with huge amounts of anxiety about the entire process. I could not fathom telling the appointment setter about my problems… Read more: Identity and Alter Ego
  • Identity and Alter Ego
    Part 3 of 4 Many people are familiar with the idea of sibling dynamics such as “golden child” and “scapegoat.” As the only child in a house with two or more damaged and wounded adults, I was often called upon to play both roles simultaneously. When the insecure needed a… Read more: Identity and Alter Ego
  • Identity and Alter Ego
    Part 2 of 4 It’s difficult to describe how I felt inside my mind and body before I made the changes that allowed me to establish my own identity. My outward appearance and personality was entirely constructed by reactivity to criticism, fear, and shame. My nervous system was deep in… Read more: Identity and Alter Ego
  • Identity and Alter Ego
    Part 1 of 4 I didn’t know what it looked like for someone to assume the best of me. It took me a long time to figure out that most people naturally default to giving others the benefit of the doubt. They view most folks as kind and good and… Read more: Identity and Alter Ego
  • Happy Mother’s Day
    It has been 11 years since I talked to my mother, and more than 12 years since we spent time together. That’s a long time. Before that, I tried many times to talk to her about the way she treated me. We tried counseling together and I was very plain-spoken… Read more: Happy Mother’s Day